Paul :: Present

I dropped a note in Jo's pocket down in the tunnel, as we were poking around the roman numeral pad. I'd had it written for a couple days...but just then had the courage to give it to her. Without her knowing. She'll find it. And then all will be well...

~~~

Dear Jo,

I know she's left me. I've come to terms with it. Honestly, I have. Her absence has merely shown me that she wants nothing to do with me anymore, and I know that now. It's time, Jo. Time...to move on.

I no longer consider myself married. It's over, Jo. It's over. She has made that apparently clear, and you are the one person I am telling. You...the most important thing to me right now. You...who took me in. You...who never fails to be strong, even when the world explodes around you. You're spirit glows, Jo.

She is no longer my wife. I am Paul. I am...by myself. But I am not alone. I don't want lonliness. You, Jo, are the solution to my misery. You are who my wife could never be, what my life always needed. I can see that now.

I feel...elightened. Perhaps this hell was what I needed.

It seems like it's all been...wrong. Like everything up to this point simply happened because it was handed to me. Like I never worked for anything. Like I let life live itself...and just drag me along.

She's dead to me, Jo. But you...you are life.

It's hard, Jo. Why does it have to be so hard?

I love you, Jo.

For what it's worth, an ex-innkeeper loves you.

Paul